Super Happy Party Bears--Bat to the Bone Read online

  SUPER

  HAPPY

  PARTY

  BEARS

  Bat To The Bone

  Marcie Colleen

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  Table of Contents

  About the Author

  Copyright Page

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  TO MY BFF, STEPH.

  THIRTY YEARS AND COUNTING!

  CHAPTER ONE

  Welcome to the Grumpy Woods!

  Now turn around, and don’t let that tree branch hit you on the way out.

  That’s right. Turn around and keep walking, or Sheriff Sherry will haul you off to City Hall. No exceptions.

  No one is welcome here.

  You see, everyone is still reeling from the latest incident. A bunch of chipmunks and squirrels had a major rumble on the Grumpy Grassland, and the ground caved in! It was a disaster. True, they found a cave filled with nutty treasure, but it was still a disaster!

  Mayor Quill held a very official meeting at City Hall. Everyone—from Bernice Bunny to Opal Owl—attended. Except the Super Happy Party Bears. They weren’t invited, because no one was in the mood for doughnuts and dancing.

  Right now you are probably thinking Yum, doughnuts and Who doesn’t like to bust a move? Well, the Grumpy townscritters, that’s who!

  At this particular town meeting, it was decided that something needed to be done to reconstruct the Grumpy Grassland. All the nuts once stored there had been eaten, so it was just an empty ditch.

  One too many townscritters had fallen into the hole while passing through the woods. The worst was when Bernice Bunny, hopping around with her nose in a book, tumbled right in! She was stuck there until Dawn Fawn found her and pulled her out by lowering her feather duster into the crater and having Bernice hang on. The rescue was joyous until Dawn Fawn wouldn’t let Bernice go and used her as her “dust bunny” for the rest of the day. Right then and there, Bernice decided to lead the fight to “Ditch the Ditch.”

  Everyone voted. And that was that. It was very official. But the question was how to fill in the pit.

  Humphrey Hedgehog, assistant deputy to Mayor Quill, presented his blueprints for a state-of-the-art swimming pool, complete with twisty slide and diving board. The mayor shot down that idea because there was already a members-only watering hole (of which he was the only member), so he didn’t see the need for a swimming pool.

  Squirrelly Sam proposed refilling the crater with nuts. Apparently, he’d forgotten that the rumble was all about nuts in the first place.

  Sheriff Sherry suggested turning the hole into a sandbox. She loved to build sand castles. But Dawn Fawn pointed out that sand might attract beach animals. And she thought seagulls were the dirtiest of birds.

  Finally, they decided to simply fill the ditch with dirt and rename it the Grumpy Flats.

  Everyone grabbed a shovel. Everyone complained. And everyone got a backache after only a few shovelfuls. But it was the first time the townscritters had ever worked together and succeeded. They are pretty proud of their teamwork. But they are still grumpy.

  And so, every day, everyone in the Grumpy Woods wakes up with a crick in their neck and orders up some breakfast—a small bowl of Cranky Flakes and a side order of puh-leeze.

  That is, everyone except the Super Happy Party Bears.

  If you travel just beyond the new Grumpy Flats and follow the carefully placed sticks, laid out in the shape of arrows, up the flower-lined path, you’ll see a welcome sign. That’s the Party Patch, the Headquarters of Fun. Life there is very different.

  Life is super. Life is happy.

  LIFE IS FULL OF PARTIES!

  And so, on any beautiful morning, the Super Happy Party Bears bounce out of bed and order up some breakfast—a slice of pie-eating grins topped with goody-goody gumdrops!

  Nothing annoys their Grumpy Woods neighbors more.

  Except when the bears have a party.

  And they are always having a party.

  CHAPTER TWO

  The moon rose high over the Grumpy Woods. Over at the Party Patch, the Headquarters of Fun, a Super Happy Bedtime Party was in full swing.

  CRUNCH-CRUNCH-GULP!

  The bears ate their bedtime snacks: doughnut holes and warm milk with marshmallows.

  Jigs took a long sip of her milk. “Look at my mustache!”

  Soon everyone had a milk mustache and ate the rest of their snack while speaking with funny stuffy accents.

  “Mops, dear sir, would you be kind enough to pass another marshmallow?” asked Shades.

  “Why, of course, good sir!” Mops, with pinkie finger out to the side, passed the marshmallow daintily

  to Shades.

  The littlest bear, done with being all prim and proper, announced, “Who wants to play One Million Marshmallows?

  “On your mark! Get set! Go!”

  All the bears stuffed their cheeks with marshmallows and then tried to say “one million marshmallows” clearly.

  “Wub willion washwallows,” said Little Puff.

  “Murthuhmphumph,” said Flips, covering his mouth to keep the marshmallows in.

  “One. Million. Marsh. Mallows,” said Bubs. He was clearly at an advantage. His cheeks were in tip-top shape from all the bubble-blowing.

  Next, the bears lined up at the sink, one behind the other, to brush their teeth.

  Scritch-scritch swish-swish spit!

  And then they raced to put on their footy pajamas—Zip-zip-snap!

  Finally, no Super Happy Bedtime Party would be complete without a pillow fight.

  Whip-whip-smack!

  Once the last pillow feathers floated to the ground, the littlest bear struggled under the weight of a stack of books.

  “Story time,” he announced.

  “Remember Quilly’s decree!” said Jacks. He was referring to Mayoral Decree 2,322: Two books and lights-out!

  The littlest bear reluctantly put the extra books back and made sure to read only two.

  The bears snuggled together in a big rainbow-colored pile.

  Ziggy played one last song of the day on his guitar. Strum-strum-lull. Every furry eyelid drooped, and the bears were off to dreamland.

  The littlest bear’s legs twitched as he dreamed of dancing, while Big Puff’s faint snores seemed to keep rhythm to “If You’re Happy and You Know It.”

  The Party Patch was quiet.

  No doughnuts, no music, no cheering, and certainly no more parties … until breakfast.

  CHAPTER THREE

  This was Opal Owl’s time of day … er, night.

  She poured herself another cup of acorn tea, propped up her fuzzy-slippered feet, and got to work on her latest jigsaw puzzle—a photo of a cranky platypus saying, “If you are looking for bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, go find a squirrel.”

  Opal was working on completing the platypus’s tail.

  She chuckled. “I might just have to glue you together and place you on the wall when I am finished.”

  Around her treehouse Opal dis
played several glued-together puzzles that she thought were “too cute” or “too funny” to take apart. There was barely room for another, except on the wall where she had proudly hung the macramé owl made by her nephew, Blink. He had crafted it in Owlet Scouts.

  Opal took a sip of her acorn tea and smiled as she thought of her sweet nephew. He would be coming to visit his auntie Opal soon, as he did every year. Opal looked forward to their nighttime hunts. They always had such a hoot enjoying the Grumpy Woods when everyone else was asleep. Being the only nocturnal townscritter sure had its perks.

  Suddenly, Opal’s memories

  were interrupted by a low BOOM, followed by a screechy

  The cranky platypus shifted, causing his tail to break from the rest of the puzzle. Opal’s tea rippled in its mug. The macramé owl trembled, its beady eyes clicking against the wall.

  “What in the world?” said Opal, stooping to pick up some puzzle pieces that had fallen onto the floor.

  BOOM! once again. And then a faint squealing REEN-REEN-REEN.

  Opal shuffled to the window and squinted at the woods below. It was dark, but Opal’s extraordinary night vision enabled her to see clearly. She saw nothing.

  “Must have been the wind,” she tried to convince herself. After all, no other townscritter could see in the dark without a flashlight. And Humphrey Hedgehog hadn’t been sleepwalking, or Opal would have heard the TINKLE-TINKLE-TINKLE of the bell that Mayor Quill had officially decreed he wear around his neck ever since the night the mayor’s teddy bear, Senator Fluffy, went missing and was later found in Humphrey’s bed. No one was sure which was worse: learning that the mayor had named his teddy bear Senator Fluffy or hearing the mayor scream like a little porcupette when the bear went missing.

  But just as Opal settled back down, there came another BOOM! BOOM! and REEN-REEN-WAAAHHHHH! This one was louder and seemed to vibrate longer. Opal jumped, spilling the mug of acorn tea all over the puzzle. The macramé owl gave a shudder and slipped off the wall. One of its beady eyes came loose and rolled across the floor.

  It sounded like Ziggy’s guitar.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  With the macramé owl’s beady eye clutched in her talons, Opal swooped into City Hall. A town meeting was already in progress. Everyone was there and wide awake. Even Senator Fluffy was propped up on the podium.

  Humphrey Hedgehog, in his fancy pajamas with the jingly bell hanging from the zipper, clamored to calm the crowd but was failing miserably.

  “We assure you that we are looking into the cause of this horrible noise as I speak,” said Humphrey. “Sheriff Sherry is already out investigating.”

  “You didn’t hear this from me,” said Squirrelly Sam, “but the only thing Sherry is investigating right now is the back of her eyelids.”

  “Sssss … sssss … sssss.” Sherry was coiled up and snoring in the back of the room.

  “LULLABY AND GOOD NIGHT! LULLABY AND GOOD NIGHT!” Dawn Fawn sang out hysterically, still gripping her pillow.

  “Two books and lights-out! It’s been decreed!” cried Bernice Bunny. Of course, that particular decree was not always followed by Bernice herself. But silently reading under her covers with a flashlight never bothered anyone. She held quite a grudge against the Super Happy Party Bears for causing the decree in the first place.

  “The list of culprits to investigate is short,” said Humphrey Hedgehog, holding up his clipboard.

  “Excuse me,” said Squirrelly Sam, “but what if it isn’t the bears this time? What if it’s monsters?”

  “There are no monsters in the Grumpy Woods,” said Quill.

  “M-m-m-monsters?” sang Dawn, anxiously humming and rocking back and forth.

  “Really, Sam, this isn’t helping,” harrumphed Humphrey. “It’s just the bears.”

  “But maybe the bears turned into Super Happy Party Zombies and are roaming the woods looking for us.” Bernice’s fuzzy ears trembled. “I read a book about that.”

  “Makes sense,” said Mayor Quill, pulling Senator Fluffy closer. “That last boom-boom did kind of sound like gigantic furry feet.”

  “Oh my goodness,” whispered Sam. “I bet it’s the ghost of One-Tail Willy. He’s looking for his stolen stash of nuts. I didn’t do it! I didn’t do it!” Sam skittered in circles, finally grabbing his tail and hiding behind it.

  “Enough of this!” said Humphrey. “Maybe it’s just the bears having a party. Ever think of that?”

  The other townscritters stared blankly at Humphrey.

  “The mayor and I will head to the Party Patch to investigate—” started Humphrey.

  “I’m not going to that den of ginormous monsters!” protested Mayor Quill.

  “Well, someone has to go,” said Humphrey.

  Just then, another BOOM! BOOM! REEN-REEN-WAAAHHHHH! thundered. Humphrey rolled into a shivering defensive ball. Sam jumped and scurried up Dawn’s legs, burying his face in her fur. Sherry sprang awake and coiled up into a ball, while Mayor Quill and Senator Fluffy snuggled for survival.

  “I hear feet,” whispered Sam.

  “Would ghosssstssss have feet?” hiss-pered Sherry.

  “Zombie Bear Ghosts would,” said Sam. “Big, furry ones.”

  “I can’t look!” sang Dawn, hiding her head in her pillow.

  But as frightened as they all were, the townscritters were also quite curious. They sneakily peeked out the window and saw a shuffling crowd of intimidating-looking animals pass right by City Hall.

  “Nocturnals,” whispered Humphrey.

  Opal huffed. The term nocturnals was not a kind one, and definitely not a label Opal liked.

  “Where do you think they are headed?” asked Mayor Quill.

  But before anyone could answer, a loud hammering noise came from the tallest tree in the woods. The tree where all Mayoral Decrees were posted.

  “What are those ruffians doing to my tree?” shrieked Mayor Quill, and he burst out the door to investigate. The townscritters followed. But it was too late.

  The Mayoral Decrees were still there. However, they were completely covered up with some sort of advertisement.

  A bat wearing a leather jacket with chains zigged up to Dawn Fawn. “Tickets? Anyone need tickets?”

  Dawn slowly shook her head.

  “Your loss. It’s gonna be so totally sonar, dude,” said the bat, and he high-fived a raccoon.

  “They’ve already started the sound check,” said the raccoon, and he scurried off.

  “Keep moving, day dweller,” said a mouse with a Mohawk that was almost double his height. For a little creature, he was quite loud.

  Sherry hissed at the mouse and showed her badge. When the mouse had no reaction, she bared her fangs instead.

  A gray cat with enormous eyes and a shock of red-dyed hair slunk between Sherry and the mouse.

  “Vermin, stop picking fights.

  Tonight is about the meeee-usic.”

  To Sherry, she added, “Sorry about that. Vermin’s a little guy with a big attitude. He’ll simmer down once the concert starts.”

  “MOSH PIT!” yelled a honey badger, and the crowd hollered and pushed forward faster. The townscritters stumbled as they were caught in the frenzy.

  Mayor Quill had had enough of this nonsense. He stomped his foot. He shook from head to toe. Just before the mayor exploded, the townscritters took cover.

  Quills flew everywhere. One soared through the pack and speared Vermin’s Mohawk.

  Everyone stopped and looked at the townscritters.

  After a moment of silence, the mob erupted into roaring applause and chanted, “Spike! Spike! Spike!” as they continued on toward the concert.

  “My name is not Spike!” yelled Mayor Quill.

  “Let’s get out of here, Spike—er, I mean, sir,” said Humphrey, and the townscritters scampered back to City Hall.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Mayor Quill headed straight to his office and collapsed in his chair. He wasn’t used to so much excitement way past his bed
time. All the other townscritters huddled around him, eager to hear how the mayor planned to take care of this newest crisis.

  Mayor Quill plucked a fresh quill from his backside. He dipped it carefully in his inkpot.

  He underlined that last point not once, not twice, but five times. The mayor wasn’t messing around. Then he stood to read the decrees aloud in his “I am the mayor and everyone needs to listen to me” voice.

  “I hereby declare, by order of—”

  Sam interrupted. “You didn’t hear this from me, but everyone already read the decrees over your shoulder.”

  The rest of the townscritters agreed. They were all grumpier than usual. Grumpy and exhausted equaled cranky beyond belief!

  “It’s true, sir,” said Humphrey. “We can probably just move on to the part where we take action.”

  “Well then,” said the mayor, “Opal Owl needs to negotiate on our behalf and tell all those concert-going hoodlums they need to leave the Grumpy Woods this instant.”

  “They’ll listen to you,” said Bernice to Opal Owl. “You are one of them.”

  “I am nothing like those hoOOOodlums,” said Opal.

  “You know what we mean,” said Humphrey. “A nocturnal.” He whispered the last part like it was a bad thing to say. Opal just glared at him and turned her head to face the other way.