Knock Knock on Wood Read online

  CHAPTER FIVE

  The bears explained that a super was simply a supervisor who made sure everything was shipshape around the neighborhood and that Wallace would be responsible for repairs around the Grumpy Woods. Wallace liked the sound of that. After all, he just wanted to make the other townscritters happy.

  So the bears all got right to work transforming Wallace into the super-est super the Grumpy Woods could have. First, a tool belt, a button-down shirt that read WALLY, and a set of keys would help Wallace look the part. The keys didn’t actually open any doors in the Grumpy Woods. They were, in reality, just spoons. But the littlest bear insisted that the jingling noise was essential to the uniform.

  Next, the bears provided Wallace with a map that showed every residence in the Grumpy Woods, with each home clearly labeled. That way, even those hidden I want to be left alone homes—like Bernice Bunny’s—could be easily located.

  And last, every handyman needs a to-do list. So the bears wrote down tasks for Wallace. Each task was meant to fix and beautify the Grumpy Woods, which would, in theory, make every townscritter fall in love with Wallace. Super happily ever after.

  “Here. In case you get hungry,” said Shades, handing Wallace a metal lunch box. “There are doughnuts inside. There’s even a jelly one!”

  With that, Wallace was off.

  As he was finishing his first job, high up in the trees, Wallace noticed he wasn’t alone. Someone below was frantically humming her favorite cleaning-up tune.

  It was Dawn Fawn.

  “Well, hello there,” said Wallace, flying down to introduce himself. “I’m the new super of the Grumpy Woods, and I—”

  Dawn came in close. She sniffed Wallace. She nudged his key-spoons with her nose. She then dusted his head off with her short little tail.

  “I need my dust bunny,” she squealed, and trotted off into the brush.

  “Cute. She wants to help,” Wallace chuckled. But his chuckling was soon interrupted.

  “WHOOOOOO are you?” said a pair of angry yellow eyes peeking out from the dense branches. It was Opal Owl, who was rarely seen in the Grumpy Woods. She liked it that way.

  “Howdy-doody,” said Wallace. “I’m Wallace, the new super of the Grumpy Woods, and I—”

  “What did you dooOOOO to my roooOOOOof?”

  “Oh that.” Wallace blushed. “A little handiwork is all, ma’am. No need to pay me. Just being neighborly.”

  The yellow eyes only squinted and waited for a better answer.

  “It’s a sunroof,” said Wallace. “The bears thought you might want to let some light into your life.”

  “I’M NOCTURNAL!” screeched Opal. “I like it dark.”

  “Maybe a moon-roof, then? I was only trying to help,” said Wallace, hanging his head.

  “WhoOOOOooo asked you toOOOOooo?” she screeched. Wallace was pretty sure her head spun completely around before he lost her in the bright sunlight.

  Better luck with the next job, thought Wallace, scanning his list. Next stop was Bernice Bunny’s house and then on to City Hall.

  CHAPTER SIX

  At City Hall, Mayor Quill had just sat down to nurse his headache and have his midday bowl of leaves and berries when someone knocked on the door.

  Knock knock.

  “By order of Mayoral Decree four-two-seven—” declared Quill.

  Bernice Bunny barged in, and she was hopping mad.

  “MY BOOK HAS HOLES!” she announced.

  “I tried to stop her, sir,” said Humphrey, who followed close behind. “I told her that now is no time for a book club meeting.”

  All day and night, Bernice Bunny’s twitchy nose was stuck in a book—which meant the only time she stopped to say anything was to either shush loud townscritters or try to discuss her latest read.

  So most of the Grumpy Woods residents left her alone, not wanting to engage in an unwanted book club discussion.

  “HOLES!” she declared once again.

  “So many books these days have holes,” dismissed Humphrey.

  “Precisely,” agreed Mayor Quill. “There’s a term for it. What are they called?”

  “Plot holes, sir.”

  “Right, Humphrey. Plot holes.”

  “In fact,” continued Quill, “it always bothered me that everything turns back to its original form at midnight except Cinderella’s shoe. I mean, wouldn’t that have disappeared or become some boring slipper or something?”

  “Brilliant, sir,” agreed Humphrey. “I never thought of that.”

  “No, no, NO!” yelled Bernice. “A real, live hole!” Bernice held up her book and then stuck her ear through the gaping hole and waved at Humphrey and Quill.

  She went on to explain that every book in the south branch of her library—which is literally the southernmost branch in a low-lying bush, but don’t tell her that—had been destroyed by similar holes.

  “My dear Bernice,” said the mayor, putting his prickly arm around her shoulders and guiding her slowly to the door, “book vandalism is quite a shame. We will put it on the agenda for the next town meeting. Now, if you wouldn’t mind … I am quite busy with official mayor business.”

  Squirrelly Sam, the Grumpy Woods’ nosy forest gossip, suddenly appeared, scrambling down from the branches.

  “Excuse me, Mr. Mayor. You didn’t hear this from me, but someone seems to have turned your City Hall sign into Swiss cheese. There are holes everywhere!”

  Mayor Quill stomped his foot. He shook from head to toe, and just before he exploded, Humphrey rolled into a defensive ball.

  Quills shot out everywhere. One narrowly missed Sam’s tail. Another soared straight through the hole in Bernice’s book. Thankfully, she had already pulled her ear out of it.

  Humphrey peeked from behind his clipboard.

  “Hole in one, sir.”

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  The sign that distinguished Mayor Quill’s City Hall from all the other upturned logs in the area looked like a grandma’s doily collection. The once-official-looking marker was covered in swirly scrolls, and several of the letters spelling out CITY HALL were lost in an intricate pattern. It was actually quite elegant—unless you were grumpy.

  “Preposterous!” proclaimed Quill.

  “‘C-blank-blank-Y blank-A-L-blank,’” spelled Humphrey. “It looks like a puzzle on a game show.”

  “‘COZY BALL’?” guessed Bernice.

  “‘CLAY WALK’?” guessed Humphrey.

  “I’d like to buy a vowel,” said Sam.

  “NO ONE IS BUYING ANY VOWELS!” The spines on Mayor Quill’s brow quivered, predicting a storm. Just then, the ground hissed.

  “Newssss from the front linessss. Ssssomeone needssss to buy a new fence.” It was Sherry Snake, the self-proclaimed sheriff of the Grumpy Woods.

  “Why? What happened to my—I mean, our fence, Sherry?” asked Humphrey.

  “Come on and ssssee for yoursssselvessss,” said Sherry.

  The group paraded toward the Grumpy Woods border, noticing holes in every tree along the way. It was as if they were in a life-sized connect-the-dots game. And sure enough, the holes led them straight to the Grumpy Fence and the twigs on top.

  “It looks polka-dotted,” said Squirrelly Sam, sniffing at a larger hole in the twigs. He could see right through to the other side.

  “I thought you were patrolling day and night, Sherry! How could this happen?” yelled Humphrey.

  “That’s ssssheriff to you, and yessss, I was patrolling. But thissss didn’t happen on my watch! Ssssomeone elsssse was in charge!” She spit toward Sam.

  “Me?” said Sam. “I told you I needed a break in the middle of the day for nut collecting and storage. I felt a chill in the air and I panicked, and I thought the winter was coming early and—”

  “SILENCE!” said Quill. “This is vandalism! And vandalism such as this will not be tolerated in the Grumpy Woods!”

  “Well said, sir. The culprit or culprits will be punished,” said Humphrey.

/>   “But who would do such a thing?” asked Bernice.

  “Well, you didn’t hear it from me,” started Sam, “but everything is covered in holes. And what else has holes? Doughnuts. And who loves doughnuts?”

  “The Ssssuper Happy Party Bearssss,” answered Sherry.

  Everyone gasped.

  “Makes perfect sense,” said Mayor Quill.

  But before Mayor Quill could issue a warrant for the arrest of the Super Happy Party Bears, a frantic humming to a familiar cleaning-up tune came up along the wall toward the group. Dawn Fawn was feverishly sweeping up dust. It seemed that whoever had drilled all those holes into the Grumpy Fence had caused quite a mess.

  “Dirty bird! Dirty bird! Dirty bird!” Dawn sang on repeat.

  Then Dawn caught a glimpse of Bernice and shrieked, “I NEED MY DUST BUNNY!” Before Bernice could react, Dawn scooped up the bunny with her mouth and started using Bernice’s cottontail to tidy up the hills of dust.

  “Eeek!” screamed Bernice. “Help me!”

  “Whatever is going on here?” asked Mayor Quill. “Who is this ‘dirty bird’ you sing of?”

  Dawn’s simple description of a woodpecker was enough for Humphrey to know exactly who was to blame.

  “I’ll call a town meeting,” said Humphrey.

  “Sssshall I go make an arresssst?” asked Sheriff Sherry.

  “Knock yourself out,” said Quill.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Wallace Woodpecker was very tired by the time he returned to the Party Patch. His eyelids drooped, and he was dragging his wings. The bears were eager to find out how his day had gone. Wallace dropped his lunch box at the door and sighed.

  “Well?” asked Mops.

  “How was it being the super today?” asked Shades.

  “I don’t know,” said Wallace. “I’m not sure they will like what I did.”

  “What do you mean?” asked Jigs. “Of course they will!” She gave her maracas an enthusiastic shake.

  “I can almost hear the love now,” said the littlest bear.

  The littlest bear was right. There was some sort of noise in the distance, but it wasn’t love. It was a mob of angry critters, and it was marching straight up the flower-lined path.

  All the Grumpy Woods townscritters soon arrived on the bears’ doorstep, even Opal Owl, who was, of course, wide awake and had spotted the pack as they passed her tree. She gladly abandoned her jigsaw puzzle, put on her darkest sunglasses, and tagged along.

  “Come out with your pawssss up!” instructed Sheriff Sherry, now taking on a very official role.

  The bears thought Sherry just wanted them all to wave their paws in the air like they just don’t care and got very excited.

  “See, Wally! They love you!” cheered the bears. And they all burst out the door to join the We Love Wallace celebration.

  “IT’S SUPER HAPPY PARTY TIME!

  SUPER HAPPY PARTY TIME!”

  “Where’s Wallace Woodpecker?” asked Humphrey.

  “Wallace!” the bears called into the Party Patch. “Your fans are looking for you!”

  Wallace bashfully stepped outside.

  “You ruined my tree AND my sleep!” screeched Opal Owl.

  “I said I was sorry,” replied Wallace.

  “You made holes in all of my books!” accused Bernice Bunny.

  “I was exterminating the bookworms,” explained Wallace.

  “You made a mockery of City Hall!” yelled Mayor Quill.

  “I was decorating and got carried away,” said Wallace, holding back tears. “I thought maybe a nice pattern would look very classy and official!”

  “YOU DESTROYED MY GRUMPY FENCE!” screamed Humphrey.

  Everyone froze, then looked at Humphrey.

  “OUR GRUMPY FENCE!” Humphrey corrected himself.

  “I made it so Sherry could see through it, and patrol on both sides of the wall at once,” Wallace said, and burst into tears. “It’s no use. I’m not super. I’m a failure!”

  Wallace took off his tool belt and his jingly spoons and flew up into the tree.

  “Come down here this instant,” said Mayor Quill. “We’re not through with you!”

  Wallace flew even higher, bumping into one of the Super Happy Party Bears’ mailboxes, which fell to the ground with a bang. Out spilled one envelope.

  “WE’VE GOT MAIL!” cheered the bears.

  “It’s from the beavers!” said the littlest bear as he tore it open.

  “Ooh! Is it a postcard from their cruise?” asked Mops.

  “What’s this word here? ‘Suing’?” asked the littlest bear.

  “It’s supposed to be ‘seeing.’ It’s a typo,” explained Bubs as he blew bubbles in the corner. “It says they will be seeing us.”

  “Here’s a photograph of their houseboat,” said the littlest bear as he passed it around.

  Everyone admired the houseboat—even the townscritters.

  “It’s a little plain, though,” said Jigs. “I bet Wallace could do some fine woodworking for them.”

  “THAT’S IT!” cheered the bears.

  “The beavers LOVE fine art and furnishings,” said Mops. “Wallace could do woodworking for the beavers!”

  Wallace drifted back down to the ground. “You think they would like my work?”

  Mayor Quill immediately joined in. “Of course, Wallace. Opportunity knocks! Answer that door!”

  The other townscritters caught on quickly. They were very eager to send Wallace off on this adventure, so they changed their tune and started handing out compliments.

  “Have yoooou seen the be-yoooo-tiful sunroooof Wallace made me?” Opal Owl asked the others. “It’s cured my daytime drowsiness.”

  Everyone applauded.

  “Wallace got rid of every bookworm in my library while also getting rid of all the boring parts in my books,” boasted Bernice.

  Humphrey patted Wallace on the back.

  “And the City Hall sign!” added Mayor Quill. “Not only is it super fancy, but the misplaced letters also add a layer of mystery to the place.”

  “Thank you,” said Wallace. “I don’t know what to say. I really appreciate your belief in me.”

  Mayor Quill placed his prickly arm around Wallace’s shoulders and guided him toward the flower-lined path. “So I guess this is good-bye, then, Wallace.”

  “Wait!” said the littlest bear. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

  “It’s time for a SUPER HAPPY GOING-AWAY PARTY!” cheered the bears.

  CHAPTER NINE

  The bears threw a Going-Away Party fit for the super-est of supers, complete with doughnuts and dancercise. All the townscritters were there. They were so pleased that the noise was going to stop that they even partied a little bit themselves.

  Ziggy played guitar. Well, it wasn’t really a guitar. More like a few rubber bands stretched across a beautifully carved piece of wood—courtesy of Wallace.

  The Super Happy Party Band played their signature dance remix of “If You’re Happy and You Know It.” Dawn Fawn even joined in and sang a few bars.

  Sherry Snake and Flips started a rousing game of doughnut ringtoss. Sherry didn’t mind having doughnuts tossed at her. She loved sinking her teeth into each one that found its way around her neck.

  And Humphrey shared stories of his life in City Hall. Actually, Bubs was the only one listening. He calmly blew his party bubbles as Humphrey went on and on.

  It was a good time for all. But soon it was time for good-bye and to send Wallace off in search of an exciting career as a woodworker.

  All the bears gave Wallace a hug. The woodpecker spread his wings out and said, “Thank you all so much! You have helped me find what I was meant to do! You are my best friends!” Then Wallace grabbed his knapsack and headed down the flower-lined path.

  “Send us a postcard,” said the littlest bear.

  “IT’S SUPER SUPER WALLY TIME! SUPER SUPER WALLY TIME!” cheered the bears, and they did their Super Happy Party Dan
ce. And you know what?

  The townscritters danced, too.

  They were feeling just a little less grumpy. THE END.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  In previous chapters, Marcie Colleen has been a teacher, an actress, and a nanny, but now she spends her days writing children’s books! She lives in her very own Party Patch, Headquarters of Fun, with her husband and their mischievous sock monkey in San Diego, California. Occasionally, there are even doughnuts. This is her first chapter book series. You can sign up for email updates here.

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  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Notice

  Dedication

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Copyright